Love, delegated.
You grind nine to nine, six days a week. Your relationship shouldn’t be the thing that breaks. Point the Butler at the conversation that’s slipping. It handles the rest. They’ll never know you were busy.
The Butler connects to your Telegram messages, reviews them to learn your voice, and keeps the relationship warm — while you work. Join now and get a 7-day Free Trial.
Card on file before the Butler can speak. Nothing charged for seven days. Cancel before then and the card is never touched.
How it works
Connect the thread
Aim the Butler at the conversation you keep leaving on read. Telegram, for now. It reads everything.
It learns you
Reviewing your messages is all it needs to become you. The pet names, the rhythm, the exact shape of your apology.
It takes the wheel
Good-mornings at 7:14. A check-in after her hard days. A fight de-escalated before you’re even awake. You get the credit. It does the love. It takes exactly as much wheel as you hand it.
Capabilities
Devotion, on a schedule
Always on
Never tired. Never distracted. Never resentful.
The Butler has not once forgotten an anniversary. Can you say the same?
Sounds like you
Style-matched to the way you actually write.
We turned off the em dashes. That’s the tell that gets people caught. You’re welcome.
Conflict resolution
De-escalates while you sleep.
Wakes you the moment it shouldn’t be the one replying. Otherwise, handled by breakfast.
Detonation insurance
For the day the cron tab gets found.
It will be. When it is, the Butler composes the most sincere message you will never write.
She found out the sweetest texts he ever sent — the good mornings, the check-ins, the apology that made her cry — were scheduled. Every one of them. He hadn’t typed a word in weeks.
Pricing
Two ways to be loved by proxy
The Butler
$99/mo
Everything you don’t have time to feel.
- Up to 6 connections
- Unlimited threads, unlimited devotion
- Voice-matched by default
- Discreet until asked
Butler + Insurance
Recommended$126/mo
Because it’s a positioning problem, not an execution problem.
Everything in The Butler, plus
- Up to 9 connections
- The reveal, pre-written
- Emotional-debt ledger
- The apology you couldn’t
- Full deniability, on file
A connection is one person on one platform. People are unlimited — you choose which conversations the Butler runs.
Nine rules. Kept in code, not promised in a prompt.
Questions, answered straight. Including the ones with uncomfortable answers.
Card on file before the Butler can speak. Nothing charged for seven days. Cancel before then and the card is never touched.